strings.

There is some kind of void in me; something's missing.
I can attempt to paint the perfect life in my head, but there's no way I could attain it.
There are too many strings attached to me I would have to cut, and I can't.
I feel so tied down. money, relationships, expectations, standards, debt, orders.
I don't want to have structure, I want to flow- I wan't to live in art and music.
Spend every waking second traveling, seeing the world, singing, painting, taking pictures, writing, exploring, discovering.
Discovering people.
Discorvering the world.
Discovering myself.
But I settle.
Settle for the small moments when I feel this sense of freedom. Small moments when I feel like myself.
Then I fall back into the "real" worlds grasp.
And tug at the strings now and then- too afraid to hurt myself, or others.
To afraid to cut myself loose.